BADASS MINDSET PODCAST

Mindset Makeover: Unlock Your Potential for Positive Change

• Lacy Wafer • Season 2 • Episode 56

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Ever find yourself stuck in a rut, believing that "this is just the way it is or this is just the way I am"? Imagine if you could flip that script and unlock a WHOLE WORLD of possibilities!

In this episode of BADASS MINDSET PODCAST, I am sharing my transformative journey from a very dark/depressed period in my life, following a traumatic event, to a life filled with significant growth and empowerment, and how you can do the same.

It's time to embrace your BADASS self and step into the life you deserve!!

Share a personal story or submit a question you'd like answered in a future episode!

❤️‍🔥SUBSCRIBE to the podcast for weekly tips and insights to fuel your journey!⚡️

❤️‍🔥Add us on IG & TikTok @badassmindsetpodcast & @boldlylacy to connect deeper + ignite your journey and keep your growth game on point!!🤘🚀 Let’s goooo!

Speaker 1:

Hey babe, welcome, or welcome back to the Badass Mindset Podcast. I'm your host, laci, and I'm going to help you train your brain and your body to manifest groundbreaking levels of health, happiness and success in your life. I'm so fired up. You're here because it is time for us as a society to rewrite the outdated belief that wanting and achieving more is greedy, selfish or just wishful thinking. We're about to go on a deep dive into mindset mastery, where you'll learn all about how to rewire your brain, turn your setbacks into your success story and awaken the ultimate badass that lives within you. So if you're ready to create some serious magic and epic results in your life, take a quick minute to set an intention for what you want to get out of listening to this episode, and then let's fucking go.

Speaker 1:

Hey badass, welcome back to another week of Badass Mindset Podcast. If this is your first time here, welcome to the podcast where you're going to learn how to change your mind so you can change your life in all the best ways. I'm really excited for today's episode because I have been going through a lot of challenges, slash opportunities. I'm calling it an opportunity because it really is opening the gateway for so much growth and the words we choose to describe our experience is everything and really impacts the experience we have. So what I'm going to tell you is some things I've been going through, but ultimately, I want to teach you how to shift your mind from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, because this framing of how you experience the things that are happening in your life really changes the outcomes that you happening in your life really changes the outcomes that you produce and just everything about the experience itself, from a negative experience to a positive experience, and it's an experience that's going to expand you and also attract higher vibe outcomes that you really want to attract in your life, right? So everything comes down to your mindset and I share this with great conviction, because if you know anything about my story, or if you don't, back in 2017, trigger warning here.

Speaker 1:

I was raped and I went down a really, really dark path a deep depression for about three years following and really just became in the worst state physically, mentally and emotionally that I've ever been in in my life, and I did not have hope for a brighter future. I didn't see any way out of this dark and sad place, and it wasn't until I started therapy. It was a great foundation for me to start understanding how I got to that place. But then I hired my first mindset coach. You've heard me talk about him before If you've been listening to the podcast. His name is Peter Shaw. He's a master NLP practitioner and mindset expert, and he helped me to rewire my brain, to start thinking, feeling and behaving as the woman that I wanted to become, and now I am the self-proclaimed happiest person that I know and truly my life has changed in every way in the best way, and it really came down to changing my mind.

Speaker 1:

But it's not that simple. Okay, it's not as simple as just choose to be happy. Oh, just choose to be healed, just choose to have a better life and a better experience. It's not quite that simple. There is a little bit of intentionality that goes into it, and the more often and more intentional you are about rewiring your mindset and your experiences, the quicker and more intensely you'll change your experiences. But it is a process and one of the things that I did was change my mind from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is defined as the belief that capabilities are innate and unchangeable. It's a perspective, if you will. It keeps you from reaching and achieving the level of your life that is waiting for you, that you have the potential to achieve and embody. And then a growth mindset is defined as the belief that your success depends only on time and effort. So people with a growth mindset understand that their abilities can be developed and, with consistent effort and dedication, anything you want in this life can be achieved. So I wanted to record this episode because I've been coming up against a lot of obstacles, slash opportunities that have given me the choice to either contract or expand and call in the desired outcome that I want. So I'm going to name off a few common narratives and examples of a fixed mindset and how you can reframe it to a growth mindset and change your story in the process.

Speaker 1:

Something that happened recently is I was playing pickleball with my husband. We've really taken a liking to pickleball and, look, I grew up an athlete. He grew up playing sports, but not quite as into it as me, and so basically anything that we compete in literally you name it I pretty much always beat him, and it's such an ego boost for me because I am now a decade out of college sports. I played volleyball and basketball in college and I haven't been in any type of organized or competitive sports league in a hot minute. That's actually something I want to get myself back into in the next few years, but it's been a minute. So my greatest competition, and really my only competition in the last seven years of knowing my husband, is him and we started at this new gym and they have a pickleball court. So we were like let's give it a try. Turns out we're both decent at it and he can finally compete with me at something. So we've been playing once a week as a form of daily movement and as a way to have that feeling of competition and intensity and just connect with one another all at the same time.

Speaker 1:

Well, a couple of weeks ago, at the time of this recording, we were playing pickleball and we were in the middle of a really good rally and he went for this save and the ball lobbed up right over the middle of the net and my ego saw this opportunity to volleyball, smash the ball over the net so hard and I jump and my mind went much higher than my body did. I landed wrong and twisted the fuck out of my knee, I overextended it and I couldn't walk for like three days. But the crazy thing was, in that exact moment my first thought and feeling was immediately regret. Like Lacey, you knew damn well you had no business jumping that high on a pickleball court. It was totally unnecessary. It was such an egoic move and I paid for it. So my immediate thought was regret.

Speaker 1:

But right after the immediate pain subsided, I shifted from regret to opportunity and this was really powerful. Immediately I started thinking of okay, well, now that I can't walk which also means I can't be on the go, go, go. I'm not going to be able to lift for at least a few days or weeks, depending on how bad this actually is. What am I going to be able to do with all this free time that I have now? What is something I've been putting off or not prioritizing that I can now do and prioritize? And my mind immediately started thinking of all these things that I now have the time to do and why this was a good thing, why this was a positive thing. And this was such a profound moment for me because I could have sat there and thought I'm such a failure. Why did I do that and beat myself up for the decision I made and the outcome I got. Why did I do that and beat myself up for the decision I made and the outcome I got. But instead, after the initial shock and pain were off, I was growth-minded and I was thinking expansively what else does this mean and what doors are now opening up for me? There's your first shift. The next time you find yourself thinking, oh, I'm such a failure or I'm not good enough, I want you to replace that thought and that narrative with what else could this mean? What doors is this actually opening up for me? That is a growth-minded perspective.

Speaker 1:

Something else that happened recently within the past couple months, isaiah, my husband, his car decided to just bite the dust, no more. He reached the end of his life and that was super inconvenient. We went from having two cars to only one in a season where we had a lot going on. He's a music producer and also a full-time DJ, so we had a lot of gigs that he had to get to over these next few months and at this time I've got a lot of wedding clients, some event coordinating and we're not always working together, which means we need two vehicles because we go to two different places. So that happens we're down to one car, different places. So that happens, we're down to one car and then, not even a couple of weeks later, we start having issues with the one car we have left.

Speaker 1:

Talk about when it rains it pours, right. I mean, has this ever happened to you? One thing goes wrong and you're just trying to keep your head above water on that thing, and then another thing happens, and another thing happens. Another thing happens and you're just like bruh, why is life so hard? Why is life against me right now? And you see other people who are thriving and succeeding and all these things are working out for them, and they're getting opportunity after opportunity, lucky break after lucky break and all these things going right for them. And you're like why is life unfair to me and it's so great to them? God, this sucks. So we just lost a whole vehicle.

Speaker 1:

And then now the one vehicle we have left has a $700 problem that needs to be fixed. Now, depending on the person, $700 might be like eh, it's just $700. Or $700 might be like oh my God, how am I going to come up with $700? And no matter which position you're in, that's still $700 that you did not plan on spending on a repair that you did not anticipate right so immediately I could have been like why is life so hard? Why is life so unfair? Why does it seem that everything is against me right now? Why can't things just go right for once? But I knew that I had successfully changed my mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset when my first thought was this is another opportunity to up level. It actually got me excited. Call me crazy, I know this sounds weird, but I actually got excited after that, because I don't know if you've ever heard this phrase every breakdown happens right before a breakthrough. So in my mind I'm like we're going to up-level again. The fact that we're experiencing this breakdown means a breakthrough is coming, so that was a powerful reframe for me. Breakdown means a breakthrough is coming, so that was a powerful reframe for me.

Speaker 1:

And the next time you find yourself thinking, man, life is hard, life is unfair, life is against me. Here's how you're going to rewrite that narrative. You're going to ask yourself what is the lesson in this? Or what is life trying to teach me right now? This also reminds me of that time a few years back it's been probably four or five years now when I was racking up traffic ticket after traffic ticket and for genuinely stupid stuff, like because I was so absent-minded and not taking care of business and being a responsible adult, I wasn't paying them. And they added up and got to a point where there was a warrant for my arrest because I had not paid enough traffic tickets that it added up. And at the time I was thinking like bro, life is against me, why does everybody hate me? Why are the cops out to get me? Why is life so hard?

Speaker 1:

But when I finally shifted my mindset and asked myself, well, what is life trying to teach me right now? Well, maybe if I would have just showed up and paid the damn tickets, I wouldn't be in this situation. Not that my circumstances weren't challenging, but if we really think about it, you know it's a simple answer. The lesson for me at the time was to stop blaming everything but myself, everyone but myself and to take responsibility and take my power back, show up and do the things that need to be done, be proactive instead of reactive. That was the mindset shift from fixed to growth mindset. And I just thought it was so cool when that happened to me recently with the car situation and immediately my brain and my thought process went to expansion and growth and opportunity. I was like, wow, how freaking cool is that to see it happening and playing out in real time. And you know what I did over the next few months? I manifested the money, literally out of nowhere. I manifested the money and more than what I needed. I'm telling you, when you change your mind, you will change your life. Life has no choice but to up-level. So here's a couple other narratives that kind of play into the traffic ticket situation A common fixed mindset narrative other people or external circumstances are the reason that I'm where I'm at in life.

Speaker 1:

I don't have a choice. I didn't have any power in this. Now, I'm going to say this because there's a very fine line, I believe, between blaming something outside of yourself for the outcomes you've created and truly not having any power in a specific situation. And if you need an example for where I believe this is the case, you can take my rape, for example. Do I believe that I manifested or created my being raped? Now we can go down the rabbit hole here and I have with myself, so I won't do that here. There are things about that situation that I could have changed that maybe would have not even had me in that specific place at that specific time. But the act itself no, I didn't ask for it and no, I didn't have enough power to change it, otherwise I would have. I was overpowered. Okay, so you have to have extreme discernment when rewriting this narrative about your power and how much responsibility you play in certain outcomes. But what I will say is 99.99999 and so on, percent of the time and percent of circumstances are not a situation where you were powerless. They're not a situation where you had no control in the outcome.

Speaker 1:

But we like to blame outside of ourselves because it's easier. It lets us off the hook. We don't have to feel as badly about ourselves for creating the circumstances we're in If we can just put it on somebody else, say that we didn't have a choice, say that we didn't have the power. This is happening to us. It's not what we wanted. Maybe it's not what you wanted.

Speaker 1:

You think about the situation you're in, where you live currently, who you're in a relationship with, the job that you have, the lifestyle that you have. Maybe it's not what you want, what you ultimately desire, but you do have the power to change it and it is your choices that land you there. Whether you want to accept it or not, you do have the power at the end of the day, and it's not until you accept responsibility and take your power back in your decision-making process that you can change it. If that's something you want to do, so to change your mindset from a fixed to a growth mindset. If you ever find these thoughts coming up that other people or external circumstances are the reason why you're where you're at, or that you didn't have a choice or any power in the situation that manifested itself, this is how you can reframe that into a growth mindset.

Speaker 1:

You can ask yourself, when I look back on this moment, what is the story I want to tell? How do I want to recall this to other people? Do I want it to be poor me, poor me, life sucks. Nothing ever worked out for me. It was downhill from there. Or do I want to tell the story of how I overcame, how I took my power back and how I created this beautiful life that was more than I ever dreamed of, that it gets to get so good that I didn't give up, that I kept showing up, that I kept believing, that I kept up-leveling, and now I'm a fucking badass. I'm resilient and I can do anything and I can create anything that I want. What is the story you want to tell and what beliefs do I need to have to achieve the outcome I want from this circumstance? Those are very powerful reframes that helped me overcome my depression.

Speaker 1:

I was having daily panic attacks. I literally couldn't go into work. I was doing real estate at the time. I was showing the wrong houses to clients because I was so absent-minded, not present, blaming everybody else but myself. I totaled two vehicles in a matter of six months, again because I was absent-minded and blaming everyone but myself.

Speaker 1:

I was going down a really dark, negative spiral until I changed my mind and then I climbed myself out of that hole, built the most beautiful life for myself, a family that I adore and that adores me, an environment that I'm inspired by and energized by, and a mission to change the world and make it a better place, better than the way I found it, and I'm the happiest person that I know. I'm succeeding, I'm thriving and, for the first time in my life, I have immense peace in my heart and my soul. You'll know what I mean by this, but for all of my life. Until four years ago, I did not have inner peace. There was always something that felt like it was missing, like I was struggling, yearning for more, yearning for different. I didn't feel safe, I didn't feel secure, I didn't feel like I had any power or say-so in the manifestation of my outcomes and my experience. But today I have immense peace and joy and it's the best feeling in the world. Nothing can compare and nothing can replace it, and it all came as a result of me changing my mindset, reframing my thoughts and my narrative from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

Speaker 1:

The last one I want to bring up, which is a really common limited mindset way of thinking, is the old saying this is just the way I am, or that's just the way it is. That narrative is so limiting because it implies that there is nothing that you or anyone can say or do to change the circumstances. So why trap? You are cutting yourself off at the legs before you even get the opportunity to walk. I know you've heard this one a million times, if you have ever been the one saying this. This is how you're going to reframe that thought process into something more expansive, something that will yield growth and better results in your life. You're going to ask yourself who do I need to be in order to make the most of the situation? Who do I need to be? That is growth-minded thinking situation. Who do I need to be? That is growth-minded thinking.

Speaker 1:

All a fixed mindset is is the refusal to analyze your own beliefs in order to improve your life, because what it comes down to is what you believe you're worthy and capable of, and if you don't believe you're worthy or capable of better, you're not going to do anything. You're not going to take action and create better for yourself. So if you're currently in a place where you do not believe that you're worthy or capable of better, but you want better, you want to create better. This is how you do it Take personal responsibility for all of the outcomes you've created in your life and then shift your mindset from limited thinking to growth-minded thinking. You're always looking for the lesson or the opportunity in every experience. What is the opportunity in this? What is the opportunity in this? What is the story I want to tell when I recall this memory? Who do I need to be to get the outcome that I want to get from this? And you move forward and take action with that energy, because that energy is expansive.

Speaker 1:

Everything else is limiting and contracting and this one mindset shift alone is going to change your life. It's going to turn your life upside down in the best way and it's going to change everything. Let my life be proof. What more can I say? I really wanted to share this with you because, like I said, I've been coming up against a lot of what could be referred to as obstacles, which I've reframed as opportunities that I could very realistically have a limited mindset about, I could be mad about, I could be upset about, and people would not look at me weird, like what's your problem? What's wrong with you? Why so negative? They would understand it, it would be very valid, but it also wouldn't help me in any way.

Speaker 1:

And the fact that my mindset immediately went to growth-minded thinking and I was able to recognize this in the moment, in real time, it just made me so happy and it made me feel so empowered. I was like look at the growth I've made, look at how far I've come to where I'm faced with an obstacle, and immediately I'm thinking of it as an opportunity. I'm expecting my next breakthrough, my next up leveling. Oh, it just excites me so much and I want this for everyone and it is attainable for everyone and it's going to change your life and it's not something that will necessarily change overnight. This is something you've got to put reps in and you've got to really practice and be intentional with. But one day, just like I did, you're going to be faced with something and you're immediately going to go into growth-minded thinking. You're going to be like, wow, that's so cool that I didn't even have to make the conscious reframe. That's just where my mind immediately went to Look at how much I've grown, look at how far I've come. And you're going to be so freaking proud of yourself and so excited for what's to come from this, and it's just going to be a totally different experience for you. Everything in your life is going to be an empowering experience instead of a disempowering experience, and you're going to feel this immense joy and peace for the life you've created as a result.

Speaker 1:

If you loved this message today, it would mean so much if you took less than 30 seconds of your time to leave a five-star review for the show. On whatever platform you're listening to this episode on right now. Share your favorite takeaway an aha moment, a breakthrough moment or anything you loved about this episode or the show. This helps so much with the show's searchability and ranking, of course, and it helps spread the message to so many more people who need to hear this so that they can change their life too. So you'll be doing a favor, not just for me, but for the good of the world and for all the people that you love who want to create a better life for themselves. Nonetheless, I'm so grateful that you're here and look forward to spending so much more time together in all of our future episodes.

Speaker 1:

All right, have an amazing week, babe. Thank you so much for being here and, queen, give yourself a high five for showing up and committing to be the best version of yourself for you and your people. You are such a badass for that. If you got anything good from this episode, would you send the love back by DMing me on Instagram at boldly Lacey, letting me know exactly which part resonated with you? These types of messages empower me to keep showing up, and they also help me understand the types of conversations you really care about. All right, bestie, we'll talk again soon, but for now, it's time for you to step up and start being the badass that we both know you are.