BADASS MINDSET PODCAST
BADASS MINDSET PODCAST is the ultimate resource for women dedicated to cultivating a transformative mindset that unlocks a life of abundance, health, healing, confidence, connection and true fulfillment.
If you believe you’re destined for MORE—to BE more, ACHIEVE more, and to CONTRIBUTE more—then you're in the right place. Each episode dives deep into the power of a badass mindset, offering actionable & empowering strategies and insights that support you in reshaping your thoughts, manifesting your desires, and attracting life-changing experiences and opportunities!
It's time to claim the abundance that is your birthright, and unleash the ultimate BADASS that lives within you.🤘🏼❤️🔥⚡️
BADASS MINDSET PODCAST
Breaking Barriers in Business: The Secret Fuel to RAPID Growth and Success (ft. Hayley Luckadoo, Females on Fire Founder & CEO)
Hayley Luckadoo recently turned heads at the inaugural Females on Fire Conference in Dallas!! Following her journey from a college dropout to a successful wedding planner, and now a marketing coach and podcast host, Hayley's story of success is nothing short of remarkable!
Lacy and Hayley passionately discuss their mission to uplift women, both personally and professionally, and how Hayley's Females on Fire podcast has grown into a powerful platform for community and motivation! We also explore the initial hesitations and unexpected successes that transformed this passion project into an essential resource for entrepreneurs.
In this episode, you'll discover the art of embracing authenticity, the power of networking, and the magic of following your passions to create a fulfilling and successful life. Whether you're a budding entrepreneur, a dreamer in need of a push, or anyone aiming for personal growth, this episode is your ticket to embarking on a journey of transformation and empowerment. Subscribe and tune in for an inspiring conversation that will leave you empowered to follow your passions with unwavering confidence!
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Hey babe, welcome, or welcome back to the Badass Mindset Podcast. I'm your host, laci, and I'm going to help you train your brain and your body to manifest groundbreaking levels of health, happiness and success in your life. I'm so fired up. You're here because it is time for us as a society to rewrite the outdated belief that wanting and achieving more is greedy, selfish or just wishful thinking. We're about to go on a deep dive into mindset mastery, where you'll learn all about how to rewire your brain, turn your setbacks into your success story and awaken the ultimate badass that lives within you. So if you're ready to create some serious magic and epic results in your life, take a quick minute to set an intention for what you want to get out of listening to this episode, and then let's fucking go. I'm so freaking excited for this interview today with none other than the Haley Luckadoo.
Speaker 1:Haley just wrapped up the first ever Females on Fire conference here in Dallas, which was amazing. Anybody that attended can attest to that. But the reason that I wanted to bring her on today is because she did something at this conference that was absolutely groundbreaking, that I've dreamed about for years, and she did this in a matter of two days. Absolutely insane, mind blown. So the first thing she did was I've had this dream for years and years of speaking on stage and sweatpants why? Because I don't know, I'm a weirdo. I love to dress up and do the most and be extra, but that's like 2% of the time. 98% of the time I'm a sweatpants girly and I think it's looked down upon. I heard a lot growing up that it was unpresentable and unladylike and this and that, and I'm like I'm just comfortable living in my most authentic nature. And Haley opened the show in sweatpants. So that was the first mind blown moment where I'm like, okay, I love this girl, love her already.
Speaker 1:And then the second thing was she had a spear come out that carried her baby on her chest the entire time she spoke and that was just so empowering to me, because I have a four-year-old, I want to be a present and phenomenal mother, but I also want to be a phenomenal entrepreneur, a working woman, and I don't think one is better than the other, but I want to do both and I think there needs to be more representation of that. So that was another thing that lit me the fuck up, because our world isn't set up for women like that to succeed and thrive, in my opinion, and it just takes some real audacity to believe in yourself and put yourself out there like that to make something like that happen. And I'm excited because we're going to dive into all of that. But, haley, I know that was a really long intro. Would you like to give your own personal introduction about who you are, where you're from, what you do, et cetera, et cetera, all the things.
Speaker 1:That was the best intro. What do you need me for? That was the whole episode.
Speaker 2:What do you need me for?
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:I love it. I'm so grateful for you. You know that I've thanked you a million times for all the work you did at that conference, but it was amazing. I'm so glad that it spoke to you and now we're amazing friends and I feel like I found my long lost twin. So hi everybody, my name is Haley Luckadoo. I am much like Lacey, so if you know her, you probably know my heart too, because we share a lot of the same passions and missions and all of those things.
Speaker 2:Long story short, started out as a college dropout that built my own wedding planning business just out of sheer necessity and just needing something else and something of my own and it's a long, beautiful, fun story that I'll save for another day. But I built that business and it did really well and I fell in love with running a business and marketing and helping other people build businesses and create money for themselves when they didn't have any before and just chase those really big dreams and goals. And so that led me ultimately into the marketing space. I started coaching, I started working with a lot of people in their marketing, shut down the wedding planning company, got very lonely, not working in person with clients anymore, and started a podcast called Females on Fire, and that was kind of the start of it all. It had all been leading up to that, and so that was in August of 2018. And now it's been what?
Speaker 1:six, so like six years yeah.
Speaker 2:Of the podcast. We've been doing virtual events for years, launched programs and courses and all kinds of really amazing resources to help women grow in their business but also grow personally, because I think those things go hand in hand and you can't do one without the other. And now we just wrapped up our first in-person conference and big things on the horizon.
Speaker 1:And I can't wait. I love what I do. So when you first started the podcast because you said Females on Fire started as a podcast- did you like?
Speaker 2:what was your intentions with it in the first place and did you ever think it's going to be what it is today? No, I definitely did not. I can safely say with everything that I've ever done in my life, that I did not know it was going to become what it is, and I think there's something really cool and beautiful about that, right.
Speaker 2:So, it's just a reminder that we have absolutely no idea where we're going and we're all just trying to figure it out along the way. And you got to have fun with it and you got to just pursue your passions and focus on what's in front of you, because you have absolutely no idea how it's going to turn out. I had no idea it was going to be what it is.
Speaker 2:I really wish I had this beautiful, inspiring answer for this question and could be like oh yes, my intention, I wrote it down in my journal every day and I did it. But no, I had no intention for it. I literally was lonely, because entrepreneurship is lonely, and I wasn't working with my in-person clients anymore. I was spending all day on Zoom helping people with their marketing. It was great, but it was lonely and I just wanted to have conversations with really cool people, and so I started doing that. I started inviting women that I was finding on Instagram. I was like hey, you're cool, would you want to hop on Zoom and get to know each other? I'd love to hear how you got into what you're doing and how you got into entrepreneurship. And a friend of mine was like, hey, podcasting is getting really big right now. You should record these calls and turn them into a podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I went no, nobody wants to hear that, Nobody wants to listen to that.
Speaker 2:Why would they want to listen to that? And she kind of talked me into it and I thought about it. I was like, well, you know who cares, right, Like I don't care if anybody listens. I don't think anybody's going to want to listen to that, so let me just do it. And if one person listens and they learn something and it helps them out, then cool, that's like a super awesome bonus, right? So I recorded the first episode as just like a fun little solo show of like this is something that's been on my mind. I put it out there. I put out a guest interview two weeks later and we had like 80 solid listeners. Oh wow, those first like two episodes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I was like oh my gosh, like people are listening to this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, why are they listening to this? And it was just so wild. And so I started putting out more episodes and I was getting these messages from women that were saying they really love the show. And I'm like it's not even a show, it's not even a thing. And so I went down this rabbit hole of how do I become a really good interviewer and how do I ask the right questions and how do I record a podcast intro with a little musical jingle on the front of it and how do I do all of this stuff.
Speaker 2:And I did what I had always done in business and everything, which was just start Googling, googling my heart out and watch all the YouTube videos and teach myself all the things I needed to know, and it just it spiraled from there and it became a weekly show and then six months later became a two times a week show and kept growing and people kept listening and people were talking about wanting more, and that led us to create the summit and so on and so forth. And here we are six years later and now it's my entire company and it's your entire thing, it's the whole mission.
Speaker 1:And we've gotten so many fire puns and everybody hates it. So, expanding on that, I really, really want to highlight this because I've been lucky enough to talk to a lot of successful entrepreneurs who I'm asking them like how did you build this? Where did it start? What did it start with? Did you have this vision? And literally, I can't even say nine times out of 10, like 10 times out of 10, they're like I had no idea that it was going to be this. I wish.
Speaker 1:I could say I had this grand vision, but really I just found a hobby or I followed something that looked fun and it turned out that I was really good at it, or it turned out to be really lucrative, or it turned out that other people saw something in me that I didn't see. So for you to say you didn't have this grand vision, but it turned into this thing that other people really latched onto and you kind of followed that. Would you say that you just followed the fun. Did you follow what was leading you to the next big moment of joy or fulfillment, or did you start to see it piecing together eventually and you saw a vision at some point? Or is it a mix of both?
Speaker 2:A little bit of both. Yeah, I think a little bit of both In the beginning, and I think this is such an important part to highlight is yeah, follow the fun, follow your passions, follow all that stuff. But at some point there comes a moment where you're like, okay, if I'm going to really build a business, right, If you want it to be a business, if you want it to make money, you can't always follow the fun, because sometimes we'll just be like, well, the fun's over there. I want to try something new and we get in a habit of wanting some following your passion, following the fun, following where you really know that you're going to enjoy doing this for a long time, but also following the need that your people have.
Speaker 2:And I think that's something that I did really, really well in the beginning was people were sending messages being like I've been looking for a podcast, just like this and I want more episodes.
Speaker 2:You got to give us more episodes and I was getting that message so much that I was like, okay, let's do more episodes. But then I'm over there like, but I don't have the time to do double the amount of guest interviews. And I started paying attention and every once in a while when I would do a solo episode, it would do really well. And in the messages I was getting, people were like I love your little tangents and your stories. They're so relatable. And so instead of going, oh, let me go do double the amount of interviews I thought, well, what if I do the guest interviews? We drop them every Wednesday, like we're doing now, but then I create something called Fire Friday and on Friday I drop a mini episode and it's just me and it's something that I'm inspired by or something that I want to give them or whatever, and those episodes have consistently over the years done better than the guest episodes.
Speaker 2:And that's not. It's not necessarily like kudos to me, it's not anything against my guests, it's just people wanted those little digestible episodes. My biggest episode to date and I can't even remember what year I did it in, it's an old episode, but it was a Fire Friday episode where I shared a Gilmore Girls quote that will change your life and I literally was talking about how I was watching Gilmore Girls for like the billionth time in my life because I love this TV show and I picked up on a quote that I had never picked up on before and it really gave me a new perspective on things. And I just shared this in like a 15, 20 minute episode highest episode to date. It gets the most download numbers, even still years later.
Speaker 2:And I think about that and I think about the fact that our summit came out of people were asking for an event and as a former wedding planner, I was like shit, events are expensive and very exhausting and a lot to plan and I really want to do that someday, but not today. So we did a virtual event and so I think it was just this really beautiful blend of thinking about what would be fun and how do I put all of my skills to use. I've got this event planning background. I could plan a virtual event. That would be cool. I'm a talker. I could sit down in front of a mic and do an extra little episode every week, Like putting my skills to use and doing things that were fun, but also doing things that our people needed and wanted and were asking for, even if they didn't realize they were asking for it.
Speaker 2:And so I think it's just a mix of finding the blend between those things getting to follow your passions and being a multi-passionate person, as most of us are, with the stability and the consistency that's needed to grow a business and make more money and really start to lean into well, what is my market? Where's the gap that I can fill? And I think anytime that you do that and you go okay, where's the gap that I can fill? What are people needing? What are my people asking for? How do I blend those two things together? And then how do I take my skills and put that into the mix, and that's where you find the answer for whatever the next thing is, and then it's just about okay. How do we do it? How do we pursue?
Speaker 1:it yeah.
Speaker 1:Fearlessly trudging forward with that. You know that's good. Yeah, that makes sense. It is a mix of both and I do think it's important to start with something that you love or enjoy. Like, obviously we all want to make a lot of money, we all want to have a lot of fun, but I don't think it's helpful for anybody to just chase what you think is going to pay the most, because so many times people will go down that path. They'll go to school for 12 years to become a doctor or a lawyer or this or that, or they'll go to business school or they'll start this business that they think is going to be super lucrative and they want to burn it all to the ground and it just it's not what they enjoyed. But also, that doesn't mean every passion or hobby has to become a business.
Speaker 2:Some hobbies should stay hobbies and that's okay.
Speaker 1:I do think the silver lining here is follow joy and if you find that you might be good with it or other people are noticing, then maybe you can explore that Well in that were there and are there ever moments where you do want to burn it all to the ground and you're like every day questioning yourself like maybe I'm not cut out for this or maybe I'm not meant to create this big paradigm changing vision that I have, and if so, how do you combat those feelings when they come up?
Speaker 2:Every single day, Literally. No, I mean, I think it's really easy for you to come up and be like, yeah, now I have the vision and now I love it, and now it's going really well. And yes, thank you for all of the accolades and thank you for finally recognizing all of my hard work. And it's really easy to say that part and for people to be like how did you get here? And you're like well, I did this and I tried that and this strategy worked. And go listen to your people and network and like we can come up with all these reasons why it worked, but the truth is, the only reason that it worked is because you didn't give up. That's it.
Speaker 1:That's all it is.
Speaker 2:And that goes for me, that goes for anybody that's ever done anything successfully. That's all it is. Because there are a million people that have gone out and tried to build something like what I've built. There are a million people that have gone out and tried to get on stages like Tony Robbins. There are a million people that have gone out and started a company that they thought was going to hit the Inc 500 list or be a Fortune 500 company, or it was going to do this or do that or be the fastest growing startup or like people have done these things constantly and more people have failed than have succeeded.
Speaker 2:And I don't believe that's because of a lack of resources or a lack of money or a lack of anything. And that's not to say that you don't have things that will hold you back and you don't have things that once you get them, it gets a lot easier, it gets a lot faster, it gets a lot better. But some of the most successful people in the world, some of the people we really look up to, have stories of coming from some small town in the middle of nowhere or totally forgetting their whole speech the first time they stepped on stage, or going bankrupt before they built their first business. All of these crazy stories and we all have them. We all have those moments of like this is where I hit rock bottom. This is where it all fell apart.
Speaker 2:We all have a story like that, but only a few of us have a story where we said but this is how I got back up and climbed, yes, right, yeah, and so that's all it is. And do I have a vision for where I want to see it go in the future? Yes, are we ever going to see that vision play out? Probably not, because halfway through that vision I'm going to change the vision, and that's great, that's okay. We'll see some of it play out. Some of it will get tweaked, some of it may never happen, and that's all right too, and I think it's just.
Speaker 2:It literally can all be summed up by I didn't quit, and that's not to say there weren't days where I didn't want to quit. There's a moment every day where I'm like I am so unqualified for what we're doing and kind of comes back to that imposter syndrome. And I've gotten this question a lot on interviews and things in the past, like how do you deal with the imposter syndrome? And honestly, I feel like such a jerk for saying this answer because I sound so like egotistical and very entitled. But imposter syndrome has never been a problem for me and it makes me sound like I am just so full of myself and that's not what it is at all. But is that not the goal?
Speaker 1:That's not the goal for everyone, so why would people be mad?
Speaker 2:about that answer. It makes me sound so full of myself. But the truth is, have I ever felt qualified to do anything I'm doing? No, absolutely not. And right there tells you it's not an ego thing. I'm not full of myself. I don't think I'm that amazing. I just literally am like what other choice do I have? I want to go make money and make an impact on the world and do something that gets me excited every day, instead of working in a cubicle.
Speaker 2:That I'm probably not qualified to work in the cubicle either. I'm a college dropout, so like what am I qualified for? We can play this game with ourselves all day, right. We can sit here all day and go what ourselves all day right, we could sit here all day and go what am I actually qualified for? And maybe you're sitting at home listening to this and you're like well, I have a degree and whatever. I'm qualified for that. But are you? I mean, are you really? Because if you go out and look for a job in that, are they just going to want the degree? Are they going to want the degree and four references and three to five years of experience, and all were like I totally know how to do that. But like, what are you actually qualified for? Probably not much of anything. So just do the thing you're not qualified for and see how it works out, because it could work out for you.
Speaker 2:I don't think qualified is the goal. I think impact is the goal. I think profitable is the goal, I think excited is the goal, I think happy is the goal. And if you're pursuing something that's working, that's making money, that gets you excited, that gets other people excited, that has other people going out and making their lives better because of something that you did, why in the world would you think that you're unqualified? You're clearly more qualified than some of the people who have the qualifications necessary to do this thing right, and so I just I think it's whether you're religious or spiritual or not or whatever, it doesn't matter. I just I genuinely believe that sometimes you have a calling, not a qualification, yeah, and you can take that and spin it however you want to and put it in whatever filter you need to put it in to make it work for your life.
Speaker 2:But I think you have a calling, not a qualification, and some things you don't need a degree for. You don't need the three to five years of experience in the four references. You don't need to know what you're doing, you just need to be willing to say I'm going to be the one that doesn't give up. And that's all it comes down to, so good.
Speaker 1:That reminded me of this quote by Jamie Lerner Jamie currently but, I, still love her. So at the conference we met at actually, she said that God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the call.
Speaker 1:And so that just reminded me of that, because I think every single one of us and it's so funny so many thoughts to everything you just said but one of the things that I think is so funny is that we tend to judge the people who are living what we want, the life that we want. So we want to be rich, but we judge rich people. We want to be confident, but we judge people who are confident and believe in themselves and have that audacity to dare and to do things and to really believe in themselves wholeheartedly. And so I think it's so funny because two sides to that, that's freaking amazing that you have that. I would never look down on that. And then on the other side of that is also a lot of successful people that I've ever researched or really just been interested in. They've all said at every level that there is a level of imposter syndrome that exists and they do it anyway, and they do it scared.
Speaker 1:And so I think that's a takeaway. One don't judge the people who are exactly where you want to be, because then you're never going to get there because you're subconsciously blocking yourself from it. And then, two, everybody who's ever accomplished that thing was scared at first or was scared at some point, and they might even be scared now, but they're doing it, and you know. A third thing is there are so many people who are less qualified than you oh 100%, way more than you oh 100%. They believe in themselves, or at least they believe enough to do it, scared to do it in ways, and that's what I mean.
Speaker 2:Good things are scary, right, I think about and you're married, so you get this. Just think about the first time you fell in love, right, yeah? Or the first time you went on a date. That's terrifying, because what if this is my last first date? What if this is my person? What if this date goes horribly and it doesn't go well? Right, you get nervous and maybe you get dressed up and you've got those butterflies and stuff. It's scary, right, it's scary because it's a good thing. You're putting yourself out there. Even if it doesn't go well, even if it's not your person, you put yourself out there, you did the thing, and everything is like that. All good are scary. Bad things are also scary.
Speaker 2:If you're going to be scared, it's your body's way of trying to keep you safe, and that's all imposter syndrome is. You are mind's way of saying we can't do that, we're not qualified. That has the potential to get us hurt. That has the potential to make us feel not good enough. So if we don't go that way, we won't get hurt, and that's all imposter syndrome is. Is your mind's trick on you to go no, no, you're safe here, you're fine here, stay, put right here, and if you can't overcome you, you can't overcome anything. Else. If you can't overcome your mind playing that trick on you and going, you know what? Am I qualified? No, am I terrified? Yes, am I chewing it anyway? Heck, yeah, I am. If you can't get yourself to that point, you can't overcome anything. And so I've written that on my bathroom mirror like a million times because, truly, you can have all the big dreams in the world. You can have all the visions. You can believe that this is the thing that's meant for you. You can do all the manifestation work and the mantras and the journaling and listen to all the podcasts and follow all the gurus. You can do all of these things, but none of that is going to get you over you. None of that is going to get you over your mind trying to play that trick on you to keep you safe.
Speaker 2:There's something I'm always telling people is ambition is useless without action. You can be super ambitious, you can have all the big dreams, you can do all the right things, but if you don't take the step, if you don't actually take action on it, you're not going anywhere. That ambition is useless. It dies with you, and so if you're not willing to say no, no, no, that's just imposter syndrome, that's just my mind trying to play a trick on me. It doesn't matter if I'm qualified, it doesn't matter if I have all the tools and resources, yet it doesn't matter if I know all the things, yet it doesn't matter if I can see the full vision. I can see this part, I can see the next step and I'm going to jump and make the net appear. After I jump and I'm going to figure it out. And maybe the net doesn't appear and I hit rock bottom and it goes absolutely horribly and I'll climb my way back out, because that's who I am.
Speaker 2:You've got to teach yourself to believe that that good, bad or indifferent, you're going to take the step, you're going to pursue the action and if you fall, you fall. And who cares? Right? Who cares Like, do you want to hit rock bottom, right? Who cares Like, do you want to hit rock bottom? Do you have all of the ability to pull yourself back out? Yeah, of course. Start to think like that. You start to realize that half of the things that you think could happen and that are bad aren't that bad because potential to save yourself from it.
Speaker 2:And so it's all a mindset thing, and it's not about having enough money or having enough skills or right place, right time or any of those things that we love to tell ourselves oh, they just got lucky.
Speaker 2:They were just right place, right time. They just knew the right people. They had more resources, they had more money. They married rich. We love to make these excuses, but the truth is it's all mindset and you are the only person that can make you move forward. You are the only person that can make you move forward. You are the only person that can overcome you in your mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. It's just like the whole thing about like choose your heart. Yeah, people say in the fitness industry it's like trying and really giving your all for something and falling down it sucks, but so does sitting there wondering what might have been or regretting what you didn't do at all, and that's worse. Yeah, in my opinion, it's much worse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would much rather be looking back, being like wow, I really messed all of that up, but dang, it was fun along the way. At least, I fucking went for it, exactly.
Speaker 1:And then looking for bells Versus looking back and going dang.
Speaker 2:I really wasted all my potential and I wonder what I could have done with my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and also because I'm a science nerd and I love to understand the science behind things because it makes it click better in my brain. For me, as a neuroscience student and also an NLP practitioner and mindset expert, the reaction in the body is the exact same for excitement and fear. So this was a powerful reframe that I made Instead of saying instead of reinforcing the narrative that holy fuck, this is terrifying, I'm so scared. Someone corrected me one day and was like well, is it scary or is it exciting? Yes, is it. Maybe you're just excited and that changes the energy.
Speaker 1:Even if, like, the reaction in the body is the same, it changes the energy behind what you do next, because when you're scared, you curl up, you don't want to be seen, you hide, you crouch down, whatever, but when you're excited, you stand tall, vibrant, you're energetic, you put yourself out there, there, and so that really influences the outcomes that you get, because it's all a cycle. It's how you think, cause you to feel, how you feel, cause you to act, how you act causes your outcomes, and it's that cycle. But it really starts with how you start the cycle, or the narrative, with your thoughts and how you frame it. Yes, if you're, am I finding yourself like I'm so scared, like I really want to do this, or I have this idea or this thing I want to create, but I'm so fucking scared. What if I fail? What if this? What if that, whatever? Well, what if it works out? What if it's exciting, like how cool would this be? And you can reframe that, and it just changes the whole experience, the whole journey, a hundred percent.
Speaker 2:That. What if goes both ways? Yeah, and I think sometimes we forget that. Yeah, that's exactly what it is right. You get to decide what that energy is. You get to decide if it's fear or excitement. Is it fear of it not working out and you falling on your face, or is it the excitement of this? Could be the thing that works for me, and you get to decide what that is. But again, it's just all going back to your mindset and are you going to overcome?
Speaker 2:you Are you going to call it what it is and claim it as what you want it to be and push forward anyway. That's all it is.
Speaker 1:And you also reminded me of another little game I like to play when I find myself at that crossroads of like fuck, are we doing this or are we not doing this? This game of like, okay, let's play out the worst case scenario, what if it goes terrible? What if I fail? What if I lose money? What if I humiliate myself? What if everything goes wrong? And then figure out what is that worst case scenario and just keep going, peeling it back another layer. Okay Well, what if this happens? Okay, well, what if this happens? It's all the worst case scenarios, and nine times out of 10, it's not even that bad, is what you thought it was. And then also, even if it is all the way at rock bottom, you at least have experience now and you don't have the regret of never knowing. But that experience is so much more valuable when you do fail or have setbacks, because now you know how to move better in the future.
Speaker 2:That's the qualification. That's the qualification is knowing that you've already done the thing wrong, right. So now how do we go? Do it right or go a different direction or make it better? That's the qualification. Yes, three to five years of doing it right. It's doing it wrong. Yes, the qualification. Three to five years of doing it right, it's doing it wrong.
Speaker 2:I love getting to play worst case scenario with people, because most of the time when you drill down people's worst case scenario, it's something along the lines of I'm going to spend all my money trying to do this thing, so then I'm going to be broke and I'm not going to be able to provide for my family and I'm going to end up being homeless and I'm going to have nowhere to live and no roof over my head and no food to eat, and it's just going to be a really bad situation. I'm going to be really embarrassed by all my friends and all my friends are going to forget about me because now I've got nowhere to live and it's just. It's a bad situation, right, we'll spiral down into that and I'm just like but you want to start it so that you have the freedom to live your life the way you want to live it. And so you start doing this and you realize, like oh, I wanted to start a business, but I'm scared to because my worst case scenario is I'll end up broke, I'll end up in a bad situation, I'll end up having to go get another job again and sitting in a cubicle for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2:And it's like okay, but you're sitting in a cubicle now and you're broke now and you're not happy now and you're not in a good situation now. So like, aren't you already living the worst case scenario? Aren't you already there? So, even if this doesn't play out, we're not going, we're not getting worse, right, like so I just I kind of love to put that in perspective for people too. It's like whatever your worst case scenario is, you're probably already living some variation of it, which is why you want it to change. So bad, yeah. And so it's kind of like what do you have to lose Might as well?
Speaker 1:give it a try. I love that and I love how silly you feel sometimes when you actually play it out and realize that your brain just made it bigger than it actually was. Oh yeah, and that happens all too often, all too often. So you basically already answered the main question I wanted to ask you, which was what gives you the audacity to think that you, of all people in this big world, haley, what makes you think that you can do this or that you can achieve this vision, and you kind of answered that with the whole imposter syndrome. Yeah, I think, why not me? What I give it to me? That's it. That's how it is so riffing off of that. Is this something that you think can be built for people that it's not innate for?
Speaker 2:You know you're a science nerd, I'm a science nerd.
Speaker 2:We could get into a whole nature versus nurture kind of battle here. But yeah, I don't think it's innate. I really don't. I don't think there are some people that are born more confident than others. I don't think that's a thing. I know there are people that will disagree with me, but I don't think it's a thing.
Speaker 2:Personally, I think that if you're not a confident person, it's because someone in your life took that confidence from you. Someone somewhere along the way told you that you talk too much, that you're too loud, that you're too bossy, that you're too this, that you're too that. And you know we did this at the conference and I went through this whole thing. Some situation or person somewhere along the way took that ability to be confident from you.
Speaker 2:I was very fortunate. I grew up in a household where my mother told me that I could be anything. My dad showed up to everything, cheering me on. I had two parents in my house that were like you could do anything you put your mind to and we want you to believe that. And now here we are, so and that's not to say I haven't had my fair thing Like I got told I talk too much and I went through a whole identity crisis with that for a long time, and that's a story for another day.
Speaker 2:But we all have our things right. Something you were told some story that was written for you, that gave you the imposter syndrome, that told you you weren't good enough, that told you you were too much of something. And the only way because we all have these things the only way you get over it is you decide that that is no longer your story and it's not a box you ever belonged in. You would like out of the box now and you let yourself out of the box and that's it. And you know that makes it sound really simple and like it's not years of therapy and books and podcasts and doing all the personal growth work for yourself.
Speaker 1:Talk to me to help you get that part down. Literally, that was me, though. I had that struggle and I rewired that. I decided one day and I rewired that, so everything that I had lived.
Speaker 2:But that's a great testament to it. That's exactly my point is I'm making it sound like it's really simple and like it's not going to be years of hard work, but it is. It's going to be years of hard work. You're going to backslide. You're going to like totally have a day where you're like I am right back in it, I'm back at square one. All this work I did was for nothing, because who am I? I'm not qualified for this, I'm not the person for this. You're going to have those days, and even six years into building Females on no-transcript, freaking, terrified for a long time because I'm working on it. But eventually you're going to sit in an interview and people are going to ask you how you're so confident. You're going to look back to 10 years ago and you're going to go wow.
Speaker 1:I came a long way.
Speaker 2:And that's all confidence? Is that's all imposter syndrome? Is that's all fear? Is it's you overcoming you? And so I don't think it's innate. I think it is something that can be learned and built, but it takes you having to decide right here, right now, today, as you're listening to, and I'm going to spend every day working toward being that person. End of story.
Speaker 1:And you keep deciding that and that's the thing. I know that a lot of people will say that transformation and growth it happens over years and years and years, but truthfully, I think it happens in a moment. It happens in a moment, yeah, Sometimes it takes people years and years to build up you know, the self-trust or the patterns to believe that they can do it. That belief change. It happens in a single instant.
Speaker 2:And you can decide that at any moment.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, there will be things that come back into your life, triggers and things that are there to test you and see like, oh, is that really what you believe? Are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to change your mind and go back to your comfort zone, like you just keep reaffirming no, this is who I am, this is what I'm about. And it becomes subconscious, it intertwines with your subconscious, but at first it's all conscious. You just decide and you keep deciding and you keep deciding until you don't even have to express that that's what you're deciding anymore, because you just are yeah, we're like I'm doing it, let's go. Yeah, exactly, I love it. Oh, my God, so good. So, outside of your mindset and the belief in yourself, because I think that's the biggest thing for success in anything. What would you say has been the biggest catalyst for you in your success and just being able to make Females on Fire what it is today?
Speaker 2:People Just surrounding yourself with all the right people. I have spent years and years and years really trying to build a community and not just like the community that buys into our programs, but the community that comes and pours into our programs. I literally just made an Instagram post about this, talking about if you look at the conference that we just had and you see all of these people on stage and you watch the promo video that'll come out at some point and you buy your ticket the next year and you watch it grow over the years as I know it will you can look at that and you can really easily just be like, wow, that person is just lucky or that person is just like meant to be doing that thing, or whatever. But the truth is, I couldn't have done that conference in any capacity without the incredible people around me and that's you guys that volunteered and were a really huge part of putting it on. That's my parents that showed up and have supported me forever. That's friends that spoke on stage and the second that I was like will you come pour into this audience? They were like heck, yes, no questions asked because they know me. Come pour into this audience. They were like heck. Yes, no questions asked, because they know me, they know the mission behind Fields on Fire. They've been involved for years and that's just a testament to building a community and really surrounding yourself with the right people and putting yourself out there and networking.
Speaker 2:And not just networking in a way that's like hi, here's my business card. Give me your business card, what's your name, what do you do? Give me your 30 second elevator pitch and then you maybe look them up on Instagram later and hit follow and totally forget that they exist. That's not the kind of networking that we want, right? It's really getting to the heart of who people are. What are they good at? What are they afraid of? What are they working on? What's their vision for the future? How are they trying to change the world? And how do you guys fit into each other's plans for them? And maybe it's just let me be a cheerleader for you. Let me go be that person that comments on every one of your Instagram posts, and it's like you're freaking wrong.
Speaker 2:I knew you could do it. Like maybe that's how I fit into your narrative and maybe that's the only way I fit into your narrative, but I'm gonna fit in somewhere, right, and so just building community, I think it's so overlooked as a stepping stone for really building something amazing. And I think a lot of people get onto something. They learn all the marketing, they get the sales, sales down, they do all the things and then they kind of fizzle out and they can't figure out how to get it to the next level and they can't figure out why they can't get new people in the door and they can't figure out why people that started way after them and don't have the revenue that they have suddenly are getting opportunities that they're not getting.
Speaker 2:It's because of networking, it's because of community building, and so that's a hundred percent, in addition to the mindset stuff, what I attribute the success of Females on Fire to because those summits never would have started if I didn't have 28 friends that when I came to them and I said, hey, we're going to put on a virtual summit in a month and a half, Can you record a presentation for me in the next two weeks talking about XYZ topic.
Speaker 2:If I didn't have 28 friends, that had been like heck, yeah, I'm in. Those summits wouldn't exist, and so it's a group effort at the end of the day, and it's all about who you surround yourself with.
Speaker 1:And just the power of being in the room. Oh yeah, one of our primal human needs is connection, our primal human needs. And just speaking to that, I can't tell you how many opportunities and powerful connections that were catalysts to something else big that came from just putting myself up there and for so many women especially, I feel like men have this on lock, like they're just innate confidence and you know those memes where a guy looks in the mirror and he's like 300 pounds overweight and he's like, oh yeah, I'm sexy.
Speaker 1:And then the woman looks in the mirror and she's like perfect. And she's like, oh, this is wrong. I feel like that kind of like spreads into a lot of areas of our lives, but for women it can be scary to put yourself out there and introduce yourself to someone or go to networking events or get yourself in the room. But I'm going to tell them about how we met. Yes, I literally went to a conference by myself last year, which, by last year, going somewhere by myself wasn't so scary because I had built up that confidence by doing it many times before. But last year I went to a conference in a different state, all by myself, and I met Haley in passing, in a less than five minute conversation At the very end of the conference. At the very end of the conference, I had my suitcase, I was leaving, she was waving, she was on her way out of there and sometime during that exchange we exchanged Instagrams and whatever. We followed each other on Instagram. That was the end of that.
Speaker 1:Now, mind you, this is a year ago and we just kind of catching up with each other on Instagram here and there I'm like oh, it's here in Dallas, let me know if you want to get coffee, whatever. Whatever, let's hang out. Because, look, entrepreneurship can be lonely and stuff. I know everyone here listening can attest to that. Sometimes you just want friends that are in the industry or friends that know going through that you can tackle this with. And so I'm like let me know if you want to get coffee. So the first time, like I'm literally here for a day and I'm out, I don't have time this time, but next time I got you no-transcript, so it's amazing at it. So there's that. And for me here I'm like I get to have fun because I love conferences and event coordinating and all this stuff, and also I can help out with whatever's needed.
Speaker 1:So Haley reaches out and she's like hey, you're local to Dallas, would you be interested in volunteering? So I'm like, heck, yeah, sign me up. So this is all it is. I'm volunteering to help do whatever. Right, I get there. My instincts kind of kick in. I'm like coordinator mode. I'm like, okay, I'm seeing things before they happen. I'm like, okay, when you do this and do this, and Haley's doing her thing and we just hit it off and after that we're both like, okay, how can we be more involved with what each other are doing? And that relationship formed from that, but it blossomed from a five-minute conversation that happened in passing almost a year ago literally I I think I stopped because I wanted a picture in front of one of the signs they had.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like the only person around, and I was like Hi, could you like take a picture for me really quick? And you're like getting in there doing all the angles and all the things, and then just took that opportunity to introduce yourself. And so then it started a conversation and I think we bonded over the fact that we both done the whole event planning thing. So we followed each other on Instagram and there it is. And now here we are and I feel like I found my long lost twin that I've missed my whole life and we're talking about like how do we hire you in the future and how do we officially bring you on the team? And now I can't picture doing an in-person event without you. And so it's like you never know. You never know when that one conversation is going to become something so insanely bigger. And every good opportunity that I've ever gotten stemmed out of either me just having one moment of asking for what I wanted or introducing myself or whatever, or it stemmed from a relationship that I had built, and then I'm putting myself out there to that person. I'd be like I just really want to meet so-and-so or I really need this, and they're like oh, I know a person. Let me introduce you One of my mentors, chris Harder.
Speaker 2:He used to tell us in his mastermind that I was in. He talked constantly about how everything that you need is either in this room or one connection away, and so when you think about that and you think about how many people the person sitting next to you knows and how many different people the person sitting next to them knows, you're one degree of separation away from anything that you need any reference, any referral, any opportunity, any whatever. You just have to find the right way in. You just have to find the right person. And so I really, truly believe that the people you surround yourself with and those little opportunities and little chances that you take to introduce yourself and network and have the conversation and just be bold for two seconds, yes, changes everything for you.
Speaker 1:And that's what's so cool is, by the time you guys are listening to this, we'll be in Nashville together. We are now traveling to Nashville to look at venues.
Speaker 2:I don't wait 20 bucks.
Speaker 1:I'm so freaking excited, but I want to say there's a way to go about it too. It's so authentic. Don't be that person that shows up at the networking event that's like here's my business card, here's what I do, this is how I can. You should hire me. This is why I'm so great. You have to go and more interested in other people than you are yourself, and you also have to have no expectations. I didn't meet Haley with the intention of like oh, she's hosting. I had no idea she was hosting a conference. I'm like well, she's hosting a conference. Let me meet her, let me introduce myself, let me ask to volunteer, let me do all that. Like no, that all came so authentically by me just offering value or offering myself, putting myself in the room, speaking up and then just being authentic and us connecting over real life shit.
Speaker 2:There is like I don't want to call it a strategy necessarily, but there is sort of a strategy to it, right? And it's not introducing yourself to people just for the sake of like, oh, I hope I get something out of this. It's definitely like you said. It's got to be authentic. You give more than you get. There's definitely a way to go about it.
Speaker 2:But also, when you are seeking out people for opportunities and you are like okay, I want to build a community for this reason and I want to build a community and leverage it for more money or because I want to get to that level, or I want to get to do this thing, there is some strategy to it. And, yeah, you still have to very authentically be yourself and you have to show up with no expectations and all of the things that you just said. But there's also work to be done behind the scenes to make sure that you are building a community in a way that is giving you those opportunities, you're showing up and networking in a way that's going to get you to your next level and not just like, okay, I'm showing up and I'm being bold and I have no expectations and I'm trying to be authentic. It's not going to turn into anything because I didn't really know how to show up. It's this balance of learning the sort of strategy and finesse to it, while also showing up very authentically as yourself. It's a fine dance.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is. What a great opportunity to segue into what I was actually going to say next at the the conference. So y'all at the conference, before it was even over, even though I'm like over here backstage helping run the thing. I knew I wanted to be a part of this, because not only is Haley inspiring, but she just checks so many of my boxes when it comes to like who I want to surround myself with and what my vision is for the world, and so I'm gonna spill to the badasses if it's okay, let's do it y'all, I'm actually joining her mastermind.
Speaker 1:So Haley, I want to open the floor for you to tell them what it's about too, because if anybody here is inspired as much as I am, I want to be like let's fucking go, what's the strategy, what's the next level, what's the next steps? And you want to join me on this journey?
Speaker 2:Like dude, let's fucking do it. Yes, I cannot wait. Fueled Mastermind I really believe that community building is the fuel for your business, for your growth, for making more of an impact, for making more money, for all of those things. And there is a strategy to it. And so the Fueled Mastermind it's six months. We walk you through the FUELD strategy I love acronyms, so every letter stands for a piece of that strategy. But we really help you actually build out your community, build out a plan for how you're going to build that community, how you're going to leverage it for your business to make more money, how you're going to make more of an impact on that community. So you have people that are coming back as absolute raving fans. They're bringing in more people. They're excited to be here. They're literally like Lacey, standing on the side of the stage, going I have to be a part of this, and so that's what you want to build and that's what we help you build in. Also, you're getting ideas and support from the other women in the mastermind. So it is specifically for women who want to build communities. They're in the same place that you are. They're struggling with some of the same things, they're overcoming some of the same things and it's just a really cool experience. We end it all with a really amazing beach retreat here in Wilmington. So it's a mastermind and retreat combo. So you get that in-person experience with the women that you've been doing life with and doing business with for the last six months. So it's going to be a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:Applications are open. We are going to give $300 off to those of you listening. So if you're interested, just for being a part of Lacey's community already and a part of her world, you're getting $300 off for that. So you can head to femalesonfireco slash fueled F-U-E-L-E-D and put in your application. We look over applications really quickly but we are taking people who we think really fit what we're looking for in terms of having a business that a community would benefit, really being a good type of leader that could build a community. And if your application gets accepted, we start here in a couple of weeks. Applications close on September 27th, so get your application in before then. Just put on the application down at the bottom that you listen to this podcast and we'll get you your $300 off and you'll come join us for the next six months. But it's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1:Yes, and if you have any questions or anything about it, feel free to find me and Haley on Instagram. I'll have our links in the show notes so you can go right down to the show notes to find any information that you'll need. But find us, ask us if you have any questions. There's also a link at the top of the show notes that says something like share a personal story or ask a question to be answered on a future episode. You can use that link as well if you have questions about the mastermind, and just let us know and we'll point you in the right direction. Yes, all right. Okay, haley, so I have one. Switch it up, because I usually ask everybody what is the most bold or badass thing that you've done this year, and we obviously know what that is. That was, I mean, unless you have something else that Whoops.
Speaker 1:I think that was probably it, look. So I'm going to ask you a different question what is the most badass thing about you from your point of view? Because I think there's not enough women who have the confidence to hype themselves up, and we need that right now. So what's the most badass thing about you, haley?
Speaker 2:Dang, that's tough. That's tough, I'm awesome.
Speaker 1:I fucking love you.
Speaker 2:You know I hate to point it all back to the audacity thing, but I genuinely believe that I'm where I am.
Speaker 2:Females on Fire is where it is just because of that just willingness to take risks and say yes and figure it out later and sometimes that gets me in trouble, but it got me this far and I think just the resilience and they kind of go hand in hand a little bit. We didn't get into a lot of stuff and I know I mentioned I had two parents that really believed in me. I'm super grateful for that. But I had my fair share of the really crappy stuff in my life and really hard things that I had to go through and that resilience always got me through and just knowing that wherever I wanted to be, I just wasn't there yet but my time was coming and I just had to keep working at it and I do. I think that's the coolest thing about me is my ability to just be like let's freaking, go and have that energy, and I try to give that energy off to everybody else as much as I can.
Speaker 1:So definitely rubs off. I'll tell you that. Let me just reflect that back to you. And it's working. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:I love you so much.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for doing this. I'm so grateful that we set the time aside to do this, because I felt like this was super powerful and hopefully it'll be impactful for someone else as well. But thank you so much, love you. Thank you so much for being here and, queen, give yourself a high five for showing up and committing to be the best version of yourself for you and your people. You are such a badass for that. If you got anything good from this episode, would you send the love back by DMing me on Instagram at Boldly Lacey, letting me know exactly which part resonated with you? These types of messages empower me to keep showing up, and they also help me understand the types of conversations you really care about. All right, bestie, we'll talk again soon, but for now, it's time for you to step up and start being the badass that we both know you are.