BADASS MINDSET PODCAST

Are you letting someone else decide your fate/future? (You may not even realize you’re doing this)

• Lacy Wafer • Season 2 • Episode 47

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Hey babe, welcome back! On today’s episode of BADASS MINDSET PODCAST, I’m getting really real about how I turned my MAJOR academic struggles into a MAJOR success. I'll be spilling ALL the beans on how tweaking my study habits and totally flipping my mindset led me from repeated failures to nailing that A.

Tune in to learn simple yet powerful ways to shake up those limiting beliefs and start seeing yourself as the unstoppable FORCE you are. It truly is all about making SMALL changes with BIG impacts.

Are you ready to rewrite your own success story?! Hit play and let’s dive in!

P.S. Share your top moments and join the fun over on Instagram @boldlylacy and @badassmindsetpodcast. And let's kick this week's @$$!

Share a personal story or submit a question you'd like answered in a future episode!

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❤️‍🔥Add us on IG & TikTok @badassmindsetpodcast & @boldlylacy to connect deeper + ignite your journey and keep your growth game on point!!🤘🚀 Let’s goooo!

Speaker 1:

Hey babes, welcome, or welcome back to the Badass Mindset Podcast. I'm your host, laci, and I am here to guide you in training your brain and your body to manifest groundbreaking levels of health, happiness and success in your life. I'm so fired up. You're here because it's time for us, as a society, to defy all doubts and the outdated belief that wanting and achieving more is greedy, selfish or just wishful thinking. We're about to go on a deep dive in the mindset mastery, where you'll learn all about how to rewire your brain, turn your setbacks into your success story and awaken the ultimate badass that lives within you. We are not just dreaming over here. We are manifesting the most exciting opportunities, experiences and people into our lives and claiming the abundance that is our birthright. So if you're ready to create some serious magic and epic results in your life, grab your cute water cup and let's fucking go. Hey babe, happy Monday. I hope you're having an amazing Monday so far, and if you need a little boost to help get you started off on the right foot, then I think this episode is going to help you do exactly that. So let's not waste any time. Let's get right into it, because I know you've got a lot of ish to get done this week and I want you to know that if you're doing this, you are setting yourself up for failure before you even start.

Speaker 1:

So, for anyone who hasn't been here very long or is joining me the first time today, I just finished a summer chemistry class. I am currently in school for neuroscience, which is the study of the brain and the nervous system. I'm obsessed with all things to do with the brain. It's so fascinating to me understanding how it processes information, makes sense of it, how that then influences us to feel a certain way and behave in a certain way and therefore create certain experiences in our lives. I just love all things to do with the mindset. So I'm in school for that right now, and I just wrapped up my third attempt at this chemistry class.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let me explain. Before you say what the F? Lacey, let me explain. I'm a 30-year-old woman. I graduated high school back in 2012. I originally went to college immediately out of high school. I was studying kinesiology. I did not finish school. Long story short, I got a minor in kinesiology and now I'm back in school for my bachelor's of science in neuroscience.

Speaker 1:

Well, last fall the fall of 2023, was my first semester back in college after quite a few years, and I hadn't taken a chemistry class in a decade, literally since high school. So your girl was struggling, okay. I made it like a third of the way through the semester, looked at all my grades and determined that even if I made a 100 on everything else from there out, I would still not be able to pass the class. So I withdrew myself from the class and re-signed myself up for the very next semester. So the next semester was spring 2024. Same thing. I get about halfway through the class this time halfway to three-fourths of the way through checked out my grades and was able to determine that if I didn't score perfectly on everything else moving forward, I was going to fail the class. So took all the steps again and withdrew myself a second time.

Speaker 1:

Now, after that happened, I sat down with myself and I asked myself is this something that I want to attempt for a third time and, if so, what is going to be different this time? So first I had to answer the question like is this for me, am I wasting my time or is this something I actually want to continue to try to accomplish? And I'll just save you the suspense, I ultimately decided no, this is for me, this is something I want to do, and one way or another I'm going to figure out how to conquer this beast. Okay. So I determined I do want to attempt it a third time. But in order to ensure that did not happen again, I had to ask myself a few more questions. So these questions I ask myself every time I have my reflection sessions. I do these yearly, monthly and weekly if possible. But I ask myself what has been going really well, what has not been going very well? Why do I think these things have been going very well or not very well, and what could I do differently next time to set myself up better, for a better experience and a better outcome?

Speaker 1:

And what I had come up with for this specific scenario was a shortened time frame. Instead of 16 weeks, I would be doing five weeks. Instead of a 200 student class size, I'm now in like a 15 to 20 student class size. Those were the two main differences. And how this was going to set me up better is with a smaller class size, I would have more one-on-one interaction with the teacher to ask questions, to get clarification and really get my needs met in that way and then, with a shorter timeframe, I could push myself a little harder to really zone in, be on my A game and give my best efforts. Because it's a short time period. Over a longer time period it's a little harder to be completely zoned in, to never let your foot off the gas and to be at that high of an energy and motivation level that I needed to be at to do good in this class.

Speaker 1:

So I made those adjustments and I set myself up in ways that I thought would set me up to have a better experience and a better outcome, and not to spoil the surprise. But it worked. Your girl got an A. But I want to share with you how exactly I set myself up to be successful, because it's a lot deeper than just adjusting my schedule and changing the class size. And then I also want to share with you a specific instance where things could have really taken a dark turn for the worse had I not been consciously aware of what was happening and pattern interrupted to make sure that I didn't let it steer me down the path I didn't want to go, which I think a lot of us do without even realizing, just because we're simply not aware of it.

Speaker 1:

So, after I set myself up by looking at the logistics and the practical adjustments that I could make, I also set myself up by going really heavy on reprogramming my mindset. What do I mean by this? We're all born a blank slate, mentally, like when we come out of the womb. We don't have preset beliefs and values and ideas about the world and the way the world works. All we know is hungry, tired and play. We are shaped and programmed all throughout our childhood and our young adult life to think like and act like and believe what our parents, teachers and peers think and believe. Most of our thoughts and beliefs are not our own. They are borrowed from the people who raised us or spent the most time around us and we took them on as our own.

Speaker 1:

So I took that into account and took inventory of my current belief system around school, my ability to get good grades, my smarts, and here are the narratives that I found that I've ran for years, two decades. One I hate school. Two I'm no good at school. Three I'm a slow learner. Four I come across as smart, but I really have to work extra hard behind the scenes to get good grades. Five science isn't really my subject. I've never been good at science, especially not chemistry, and six C's and D's get degrees. Have you been running any of these narratives about school or about any area of your life that you can think of? I mean, the list probably goes on and on, but these were the top beliefs that I was running about myself when it comes to school and my ability to learn.

Speaker 1:

So, when I became aware of that, these are the beliefs that I chose to replace them with and to rewire into my subconscious. Instead of I hate school, I am doing everything I can to make school more enjoyable. Instead of I hate school, I am doing everything I can to make school more enjoyable, starting with arranging my schedule in a way that feels better Making friends at school, friends to study with, doing flashcards with my husband, isaiah, and still allowing myself to have fun and to travel and do things that I enjoy while I'm in school, rather than putting my life on hold for the next however many years until I finish. So it's the first narrative I've been rewiring. Instead of I'm no good at school or I'm a slow learner, I've replaced it with I am extremely smart and I learn fast.

Speaker 1:

Now how do you go from I'm a slow learner and I'm not smart to I'm extremely smart and I learn fast. If you don't actually have evidence of that in your life, well, you don't, but chances are. Actually have evidence of that in your life Well, you don't, but chances are. You have evidence of that maybe in other areas of your life. I know I do In a lot of ways. I'm very smart and I learn very fast. I'm a very creative person. I'm really good at thinking outside of the box and connecting dots in a way that goes a lot deeper than a lot of people think about things. So I just connected that experience to this and allowed myself to believe that it could be possible for this, too. I could be a fast learner when it comes to school and science, and I can be extremely smart when it comes to this subject as well. Instead of I come across as smart but I have to work extra hard behind the scenes to get good grades, I replaced that with I work just as hard as any other student and my grades will reflect my efforts. Ugh, is that not the truth? If I don't try hard, I won't make good grades. If I put in the effort, my grades will reflect, and they did. Instead of.

Speaker 1:

Science isn't my subject and I've never been good at science, especially chemistry I've replaced it with no. Science actually is my subject. I mean, look around, look at what I've dedicated my whole life to, look at what my passions are, look at what lights me up. I'm saying this to myself, I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling at myself. Like look at your life, lacey. Look at what type of books you like to read. Look at what you want to do with your life, look at what interests you. It's all science-based. So, no, that doesn't even make sense to say that science isn't your subject. It is your subject, it's totally your subject. So we stopped running that narrative that it isn't my subject and we started running the narrative that, no, it is my subject. I'm very good at understanding science.

Speaker 1:

And last but not least, I replaced C's and D's get degrees with yeah, maybe C's and D's do get degrees, but when have I ever been a just do enough to scrape by kind of gal? That is not me at all. I am a high achiever. And I don't mean in an unhealthy burn yourself out kind of way, but in a way that really represents my true passion and intentions for the work that I am doing in this world. I am a high achiever and my grades should reflect that Also. Raise your hand if you would want a doctor who got D's all throughout college to be working on you or diagnosing you. Wait, really think about that Exactly. I not only want to be respected for the work that I do and my expertise, but I want to respect myself. And how will I do that? Well, I'm going to get better grades and I'm going to actually learn the material, not just get by enough to earn that piece of paper saying so.

Speaker 1:

So those were the beliefs that I rewired to help set me up mentally and emotionally, along with the physical and logistical changes. And even though I did all of that, after my first exam which I did very well on, might I add my professor, straight up, told the class immediately after the first exam, before we even got around to setting the next chapters for exam two, she stood there in front of the class and said that, historically, students do the worst on the second exam. The wave of horror that took over the class right after she said those words. Now, because of the work that I've done on myself and my mindset. I recognized this programming immediately and I chose to pattern interrupt. And, yes, I literally interrupted her and I said hold up now.

Speaker 1:

Let's not set up the entire class with the intention and the expectation that they're going to do worse on this exam, because that is not my intention or expectation for myself and I would not like to be programmed to believe so. I literally said this and she's like well, I mean, based on what I've seen in the past, that is true. So I just wanted y'all to know so that you'll be prepared. And this is what I want you to really pay attention to. She did not have ill intentions or intentions to set us up for failure by any means. In fact, her intentions were the opposite. Her intentions were to inform us and make us aware so that we would know and prepare ourselves more. But I know, as I witnessed firsthand for some of the students in there, that as soon as they heard that, they thought some even said well, I didn't do good on the first exam, so I'm definitely screwed for this one.

Speaker 1:

And though what she said might have been true about the history and the patterns of students' performance in the past, that was not our truth to take on, and I want to bring this to your attention because if you're not hyper-aware of the narratives that are being planted into your subconscious every single day, and if you're not taking intentional actions and initiatives to shape them in a way that supports you, you will unfortunately take them on to be your own, and that is what most of the class did that day, unfortunately, I made it my mission after that to score higher on exam two, because I did not want that to be my narrative and, frankly, I just wanted to prove her wrong and I wanted to prove to myself that I can choose my own destiny. And I did end up scoring higher on exam two than on exam one. I also scored the second highest grade in the class on that exam and that turned out to be my highest exam grade out of all four of my exams for the class. Like, isn't that wild? But I had to prove that, not necessarily to her, but to myself that she was not going to determine my destiny.

Speaker 1:

No, and that is the point of today's episode that I really want you to sit with. I want you to sit back and think about your life and your circumstances. Are there any areas of your life or characteristics about yourself that you are letting others determine for you, whether it be consciously or unconsciously and more often than not it is unconscious we aren't even aware that it's happening. If you're drawing blanks, maybe I can spark something for you here. Are you the one that's late to everything, and maybe you want to change that, but that's what everybody in your friend group or your coworker group knows you as and expects of you. Or are you the friend with a shit memory? You're always forgetting things that you need, whatever it is. You don't want that to be the case, but that's the identity you've taken on and that's what everyone expects of you. Are you the ditzy friend, the gullible friend, the shy friend, the friend that's always struggling or going through some drama? What comes up for you when we talk about this? What's the consensus about you and your friend group, your work group or your family, about you and your friend group, your work group or your family?

Speaker 1:

Now, here's the hang-up. You can't control what other people have to say or what they believe about you, and most of the time, it's not based with ill intent it's truly not but that doesn't mean that it's supporting you. And though you can't control what other people have to say or believe. You can decide who and how you want to be, and that starts with getting clear on who and what exactly that is and then taking inventory of where you are reinforcing narratives that do not support that identity or that experience that you want to have. Once you're clear on that, then you must choose new beliefs and experiences that you want to have and rewire them through your narrative and through the actions that you take. As often as possible, you start speaking as, and showing up as, the woman that you want to be until it feels natural and eventually just becomes who you are.

Speaker 1:

If you've been being a certain way for years or decades, don't beat yourself up if you don't change this identity and reshape your reality overnight or even over a few months. Just keep at it. Keep reinforcing the new narrative and the new beliefs and it will eventually become your new identity. But you're going to have to believe it first. You're going to have to put in the work first. No one else is going to notice the changes and respect the new you until you do If you aren't putting in the effort and you aren't respecting yourself through the way you think about yourself and speak to yourself and treat yourself and behave in the world. Then no one else will.

Speaker 1:

Don't get suckered into living out someone else's ideas about your life. Take responsibility for your own experience and be intentional to create the experience you want to have. It all starts with you and it starts with an upgraded mindset. You got this, babe. I believe in you. I know there's a badass in there somewhere. It's time to let her out.

Speaker 1:

All right, thank you so much for hanging out with me today. If you loved this episode or got any value out of it, please go to the link in the show notes and share with me what was your favorite part, what was your favorite takeaway or what aha moments did you have? And if you're over on Instagram, I'd love to connect. You can find me at Boldly Lacey or on the podcast account at Badass Mindset Podcast. Both of them are spelled out in the show notes. I hope to see you there, but at the very least, I'll see you back here next week.

Speaker 1:

Have a kick-ass week. Thank you so much for being here and, queen, give yourself a high five for showing up and committing to be the best version of yourself for you and your people. You are such a badass for that. If you got anything good from this episode, would you send the love back by DMing me on Instagram at Boldly Lacey, letting me know exactly which part resonated with you? These types of messages empower me to keep showing up, and they also help me understand the types of conversations you really care about. All right, bestie, we'll talk again soon, but for now, it's time for you to step up and start being the badass that we both know you are.